The other day I went to the grocery store. Now, it seems that every time I get sent out grocery shopping it's on a day that I didn't expect to go anywhere, and, for some reason, decided that it would be a good idea to channel my inner hipster or soothsayer or other subculture-y genre that is Extremely Weird to people around where I live.
In order to avoid melting of embarrassment I've devised a system; I float around the produce section of Martin's, picking out the most delectable organic vegetables I can find, then swooping by the natural foods section and hovering longingly over the soy ice cream.
When I do this I, for one, feel like Allie from Hyperbole and a Half (" I strut around with my head held high, looking the other responsible people in the eye with that knowing glance that says 'I understand. I'm responsible now too. Just look at my groceries.'"), and I also feel like I'm projecting some sort of soothing, hippiemotherearthgoddess vibe around the entire store, setting an example for all the poor benighted souls who go straight to the prepackaged food section and don't know that "organic" and "veganism" aren't names for terrible diseases.
Then I give myself an accidental shower by clumsily shaking the excess water out of a bunch of kale.
At that point, my cover is blown. I'm just a clumsy and awkward kid with dreads who eats lots of vegetables.
Oh well.
Monday, August 1, 2011
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